Teaching is fantastic. I love it and the students appear to be learning and forming trusting relationships with me. This part of teaching is great. What I am confused about are all the politics and 'he says - she says' comments. It has me in circles and it is excruciatingly difficult not to be dragged in to it. I've decided to keep well out of the 'opinions' and 'critisisms' to concentrate on teaching. At the end of the day, teachers are like students themselves, individuals with their own personalities and seemingly, their own hurts and upsets. This gives a fuller picture of the feelings, anxieties and thoughts that those working at school hold. I find myself pulled in various directions and for sanities sake and to be able to concentrate on the students I need to remove myself from the conversations which are more critical than I would like, and I really don't know who to believe or what to say. I am too new to have a real opinion or to be able to understand historical pains that folk have not yet healed from. This aside working in school is like watching, or being part of a mega-organism where everyone works together to make the cogs turn and produce results. All the teachers, no matter how they feel, have some altruism and are willing enough to give advice and help if needed. I have a deeper and much more rounded respect for teachers because of this now.
What I wasn't expecting were the fractions between management, senior management and teachers. Yet, this is similar to any workplace with a system of hierarchy. I'm a firm believer in respecting management and towing the line in accordance with their wishes whether in agreement or not, as I usually have faith that management see a much bigger picture than we, the 'lower' but valued workers, might see or perceive. Still, I think I will slow down the 'mingling' until I have formed some solid ideas and opinions of my own, which to date are nothing but positive. These include the schools philosophy, the schools leadership, the students, the support, the training opportunities, collaboration and of course more importantly the students. The students make this job, and it feels a real honour to be able to be part of their lives and educational outcomes. In reality, no matter where one works, there are politics, those unhappy, those with hurts and upsets and those who dislike the leadership. Equally, there are those who feel the opposite way and have great positivity. I guess a real challenge is to get everyone feeling and nurturing an outlook that verges more towards positivity than negativity. I don't envy that job.
I thought this school was the place for me, but certain comments and discussions have placed doubt in my mind. Still, I can see myself settled at the school for years to come. We'll see. It might be time to stop smiling, being so friendly and helpful and withdraw a little until people get to know me. I think I'll park elsewhere too after my car being damaged twice now. I do truly wonder if the universe is trying to tell me something - I hope not, because I truly believe I can make a difference to these students lives and learning outcomes. I am unsure as to the future, peoples thought of me, opinions of me or whether over time some will warm to me, but I have decided that I do not care anymore. I am too old and too passed it to be bothered with comments or opinions about me from people who haven't walked my journey. It is my hope and my dream to teach and make a difference or at least try. To encourage students towards their goals and nurture a belief in themselves beyond much of the low self-esteem many of them have already expressed. These last things are my aims and goals. It is not about me, the politics or even about fractions that exist, but about young lives that need guidance, time and faith.
I do really hate politics . . . games and agendas. Id rather just know where the hell I stand and get on with the job at hand - caring, teaching and trying to engage students.
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