About Roset

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No words can explain how deeply people want to connect with each other. How much pain they will suffer trying to be accepted, to be valued and to be loved. The yearning to be wanted is probably the most trauma that some individuals will ever inflict up on themselves. No matter race, colour, creed, sexual orientation, religion, culture, gender, age or any other factor, what everyone wants is to belong, to connect, to be loved. It is so easy to reach out to someone yet, for some it is the most difficult thing to find someone to connect to. Reach out to those you meet in your daily march. You just never know whose life you might touch, what spark, even unknowingly, you may make.

Friday, 29 March 2013

Setting students up to fail - behave!


Setting students up to fail - behave!

I heard a statement, that if we encourage students towards their aims or goals that we deem, or in other words, judge to be unrealistic, then we are setting them up to fail. I disagree. No matter how useless, hopeless, impossible or totally ridiculous a students dream may appear to any one of us, we have no right to squash dreams, hopes and aspirations for a future life that an individual aspires to have. You may laugh at my view point and accuse me of being a dreamer and so believe that I am in fact the one being unrealistic, and that is your opinion to have, but before you decide read on. 

We see and know a student only in their school environment. They may not be academically talented. They may possibly have behavioural, emotional, psychological and / or even learning difficulties not to mention physical challenges, medical conditions, as well as social and background factors that are not conducive to success, but, beyond this, I say, that we cannot ever know who will and will not succeed. All that teachers are doing if they say 'you are setting them up for failure' in response to encouraging a dream or goal that a teacher or group of teachers deem unreachable for that student is enforcing labels, stereotypes and negative psychological beliefs for that child.

Now to be a little extreme in example: a student with no legs and no academic ability at all may wish to be an astronaut. Anyone looking in from the outside might scoff and say - 'no way' - especially if he cannot read, write or even walk! Yet, what if he has dexterity, skills or abilities that we do not recognize within the framework of main stream schooling. What if we do not recognise or appreciate that it will be the very skills we cannot see and do not recognize that are in his later life exactly the skills and attributes needed for a specific task or role in NASA! Laughing yet? An extreme example, I know, but the point is there are millions of individuals in the world that were told they would amount to nothing and yet have gone on to prove everyone wrong. We, YOU, do not know what opportunity the world will offer this student in the future. I guess, the ‘realist’ in you would see that there is a 99.99999% probability that this student will in fact never become an astronaut but there is always, and I repeat, ALWAYS a chance that in some way the world will present an opportunity for this student to achieve exactly what they wanted to attain, whether in 1 year, 5, 10, 20 or 50 years time from now. Your job is not to judge their life outcomes for the future but to equip them with the knowledge, skills and belief in themselves that they could if they wanted to, reach any dream they give themselves.

Furthermore, what if there is the lighting of a tiny spark inside a person sometime after leaving school. We do not know what students will achieve in 5, 10, 15, 20 or more years after leaving school. How their lives, attitudes, abilities might develop or the opportunities that may present or how and when they may change their lives around. We have no right to judge a students future based on here and now. I agree that we need to equip students for what we might see as 'realistic' expectations and positions whatever they may be from cleaners, shop assistants, trades, etc but that does not mean that these same individuals will not far excel these positions in the future, thus becoming leaders, millionaires, philanthropists or inventors of amazing things later in life. Maybe they will be our future nurses, police enforcers, politicians, motivators, teachers, musicians, artists, actors or medical professionals. They may discover amazing things in the world we never knew about before their discovery. There are millions of examples of this in ‘real’ life – I challenge you to investigate.

My message is, no matter how unreachable or unrealistic YOU think a students or any individuals dream or aspiration(s) may appear now, do not judge them based on your perceptions or the persons skills, abilities, life status or attributes here and now, but rather encourage them to be the best that they could possibly be in the future. Some may never, in fact, reach their goals, but many others will. Believing in an individuals dream, aspiration or goal regardless of any personal judgment, thought or so called professional opinion is not what matters. What matters is the way we each approach each students dream. A dream they were brave enough to voice and state. A dream which should not be met with ridicule, doubt or put downs however diplomatic, but with thoughtfulness, belief and hope. The only person who can set a person up for failure is the individual themself. 

A Maori proverb says if you aim for the moon you may land on a star. This is what we, as teachers, should be encouraging. Life in general will squish hopes and knock the stuffing out of dreams people have. What we should do as teachers is believe in the impossible because then the impossible can become possible. This may not happen in a traditional, logical or what we may determine to be a normal process/way but individuals can be remarkable if only given the chance; an opportunity to ASPIRE. I would say believe in even those that present the worst behavioural problems, those that seemingly appear a hopeless case or a worthless cause - . Banish the negative and embrace the positive and you will, if even once in a 50 year professional career, witness a real miracle. Have faith in everyone - they may disappoint and fail but if just one person shows belief in them, if you show belief in them, then maybe, just maybe that will be all that is needed for them to amaze not only you, but themselves. 

Statements like 'the Idiot of the Week', 'a lost cause', 'he/she is heading for a life in prison' or 'they are heading for a life on the dole' or statements like 'your goals are unrealistic', and 'maybe you should focus on something more realistic', and especially 'don't set your students up for failure' and 'maybe you should lower your expectations' are nothing more than cop outs for those who have lost faith in others. Possibly, we may deem these negative comments as justified if viewed from the view of the teachers who are making the predications having being proven correct over decades working with students who have in fact let them down or failed, but labelling, stereotyping and predicting outcomes only fuel a students negative view of themselves, the world, the school environment and elicits comments from students like 'that teacher doesn't give a fuck about me' thus leading on to even more behavioural issues, societal discourse and disconnection from all they dared hope and wish for. It fuels their thoughts of worthlessness, what’s the point and I may as well give up now.

I am not so foolish to believe that all those with serious issues will exceed all expectations or that some students will not end up in prison, on drugs or not be a drain on society but I firmly believe that even if this is proven a reality it is not a teachers place to voice this other than in a genuine concern rather than as a label, stereotype, as fact or an inevitable end situation. To get personal for a moment and to give a real example: my social worker at school told me I was destined for drugs and other things I would rather not repeat - even my biological father stated this many times in a drunken stupor.  The truth is that I never did drugs or even smoked a cigarette and I would have died rather than do the other things he and the social worker said I would end up doing. Needless to say they planted seeds that made me feel I was worthless, would never achieve anything at all and I had no real right to be born at all! I left school with no real qualifications and it wasn't until I was 26 years old I attained any small academic success. Even then I couldn't believe it. My secondary school teachers believed I was a lost cause based on always being in tatty, or tissue covered uniforms, having greasy hair and rarely having toothpaste at home so brushing my teeth with salt. I was quiet, uninterested, silently concerned for my older brother who stopped learning due to being beaten or yelled awake every other night by a drunken father and when reduced to tears by him was yelled at even more 'those are just crocodile tears' before being left to get some sleep and then having to get up for school the next day. Money left for bus fares would be taken to be spent on booze and our biological father used to replace it when he got back but it was never enough to actually catch the bus to school so we had to walk it. Not a great imposition but unnecessary for already tired, yelled at, poked, put down and broken kids who felt worthless and doomed. Kids afraid to say anything in case you got what he did to your mother - a good punch in the stomach and a yell of 'you deserved that' to try and justify his actions or being smacked across the face and even having a leg broken as happened to me. As teachers we cannot fix these problems but you can nurture hopes and dreams however crazy you may consider them.

The point is - YOU, whether a teacher, social worker, or some kind of professional DO NOT KNOW how a persons life might change when finally getting away from a situation like this. You DO NOT KNOW. These kids have issues whether psychological, emotional, physical or otherwise that you, unless you have experienced their lives, cannot even start to comprehend. Even if you are an expert in your field you cannot truly know who, what or where they are in life. You especially cannot know where they will end up. I was told I would never be a marine biologist. My social worker even stopped me from choosing science as an option as school.  Yet, 11 years later I started my university career and 20 years later I qualified as a marine biologist. My brother on the other hand turned to drugs and still could not read and write in his 40s. Teachers ridiculing him contributed to that outcome.

It is imperative that if a person comes to you with an "unbelievable aim" that you do your best to give them the skills and abilities to get them through life. Give them skills to work in a shop, with people, in the trades, with manual work or anything at all but do not believe for one moment they will never achieve what you see as impossible. Make clear what they will need to do to reach their goals - plant the seed of 'how will I achieve this if I want to' rather than outright throw away their dreams. They may not achieve it by the end of their school days, but maybe in 20 years, 30 years or even longer or possibly over a remarkably shorter amount of time they will remember their dream and goal and the person, (YOU), that once believed they could attain it. It is this, maybe even long after you are dead, that may well spur them on and give them the fuel they need to change their life. This happens all the time to those in prison, those who reach the very bottom of their own existence and those who get to a point in their own lives where they can look back and then see the future in a different way.

Plant the seed - believe - if you are wrong it doesn't matter. What is worst, is not believing and contributing to the death of what might have otherwise become a reality, if only you had placed a tiny but of faith, even if a bemused, smirking or amused faith, in someone. Let your students look back with a light of reflection instead of a view of negativeness. Thats all it takes.

Now, if you judge me as a dreamer, do so, but no matter how far away, impossible or ridiculous a dream or goal may seem to me, no matter the student, I plan to encourage, support and make clear the pathway for students to achieve their goals. If then a student fails, I still did my job and in the process assisted them to gain skills that are transferrable to many professions and hopefully also helped in raising self-esteem and a view of the world that is not so bleak, painful or dismissing: a world where anyone can do anything, if they wish to do so. The road may not be easy but it is possible if one believes it and commits to it. Those I once lived on the street with prove that. It is not my story that is amazing or unique, but the story of others who had it far worst than I who now live exceptional lives. My personal story is not unique, it is one of millions of experiences and compared to many, I have not yet achieved anything. I am asking that you believe and don’t give up. That you encourage and support however useless you think it is. It might just be you that makes that tiny miniscule bit of difference that results in a person, one day, making a good choice rather than any number of bad ones on offer.

I'm only asking that you help their next story begin and end yours with 'I did my best - it is now up to you.' Encourage your students to rise to their dreams. If not in a position to do so now, then plant the seed of belief for the far away future whilst giving them the skills they need in the immediate future. Each one of us can make a difference. We might never know it, but we can rest assured we did our best.


Who dropped out of school and became famous?

Successful individuals who dropped out of school

Here is a list of individuals who apparently dropped out of school and managed to build a successful and very lucrative career in many different areas. I haven't verified the content of this webpage and take no responsibility for any errors. The point is just to show that academia is not for everyone but that does not mean these people cannot achieve great things. Anyone can still excel in their chosen career and reach goals that some of us with an excess of qualifications may only dream about. That is not to say I do not value my education, I loved it, but academia is not a one glove fits all item. Many individuals have brought and given to the world much more than I probably ever will even with my wall full of academic awards. Here are just a few of the amazing people who have given so much of themselves for the benefit, enjoyment and entertainment of others. Artists, scientists and others.

                Julie Andrews, British singer and actress; pulled out of school at age fifteen by her mother.
                Christina Applegate, American actress; dropped out of Excelsior High School in Los Angeles at age seventeen to pursue her acting career.
                Lucille Ball
                Brigitte Bardot
                Roseanne Barr
                Drew Barrymore
                Sean Bean
                Joey Bishop
                Humphrey Bogart
                Clara Bow
                Marlon Brando
                Charles Bronson
                Pierce Brosnan
                Gisele Bündchen
                Raymond Burr
                Ellen Burstyn
                Michael Caine
                Neve Campbell
                Jim Carrey
                Toni Collette
                Sean Connery
                Joan Crawford
                Russell Crowe
                Tom Cruise
                Beverly D'Angelo
                Robert DeNiro
                Johnny Depp
                Bo Derek
                Matt Dillon
                Ami Dolenz
                Patty Duke
                Jeanne Eagels
                Rupert Everett
                Lola Falana
                Colin Farrell
                Errol Flynn
                Ben Foster
                Clark Gable
                Eva Gabor
                Greta Garbo
                Nona Gaye
                Lillian Gish
                Whoopi Goldberg
                Cuba Gooding Jr.
                Cary Grant
                Paris Hilton
                Djimon Hounsou
                Margaux Hemingway
                Benny Hill
                Nicole Kidman
                Keira Knightley
                Yaphet Kotto
                Jude Law
                Henrietta Leaver
                Heath Ledger
                Jason Lee
                Jennifer Jason Leigh
                Jared Leto
                Traci Lords
                Sophia Loren
                Sophie Marceau
                Lee Marvin
                Ewan McGregor
                Melina Mercouri
                Alyssa Milano
                Robert Mitchum
                Marilyn Monroe
                Demi Moore
                Roger Moore
                Peter O'Toole
                Al Pacino
                Joe Pesci
                Joaquin Phoenix
                Teri Polo
                Keanu Reeves
                Leah Remini
                Michelle Rodriguez
                Rene Russo
                Charlie Sheen
                Patrick Stewart
                Kiefer Sutherland
                Hilary Swank
                Charlize Theron
                Danny Thomas
                Uma Thurman
                John Travolta
                Kate Winslet
                Elijah Wood
                John Wood
                Bam Margera (Got his GED.)
ARTISTS
                James Montgomery Flagg
                Henry Hill
                Vincent van Gogh

AUTHORS, POETS, AND PLAYWRIGHTS
                Joseph Brodsky
                Jackie Collins
                William Faulkner
                Gwendolyn MacEwen
                Herman Melville
                Anaïs Nin
                Banjo Paterson
                William Saroyan
                William Shakespeare
                George Bernard Shaw
                Leon Uris
                Jan Wolkers

BUSINESS LEADERS AND ENTREPRENEURS
                Richard Branson
                James H. Clark
                Jack Kent Cooke
                Simon Cowell
                Charles E. Culpepper
                George Eastman
                Henry Ford
                Soichiro Honda
                Ray Kroc
                Marcus Loew
                David H. Murdock
                John D. Rockefeller
                Vidal Sassoon
                Alan Sugar
                Dave Thomas

COMEDIANS
                Jack Benny
                George Carlin
                Billy Connolly
                Redd Foxx
                Jackie Gleason
                Alan King
                Jerry Lewis
                Groucho Marx
                Paula Poundstone
                Richard Pryor
                Will Rogers

FILM DIRECTORS
                Luc Besson
                Peter Bogdanovich
                John Boorman
                D. W. Griffith
                John Huston
                Peter Jackson
                Quentin Tarantino
                John Woo

MUSICIANS, SINGERS, AND COMPOSERS
                Bryan Adams
                Christina Aguilera
                Billie Joe Armstrong
                Louis Armstrong
                Fantasia Barrino
                Shirley Bassey
                Beck
                The Bee Gees
                Irving Berlin
                Bo Bice
                Clint Black
                Mary J. Blige
                Michael Bolton
                Sonny Bono
                David Bowie
                Michelle Branch
                Bushwick Bill
                Glen Campbell
                Ray Charles
                Cher
                Eric Clapton
                Kurt Cobain
                Joe Cocker
                Phil Collins
                Perry Como
                Elvis Costello
                Roger Daltrey
                Bo Diddley
                Céline Dion
                Thomas Dolby
                Steve Earle
                Duke Ellington
                Eminem
                Mark Oliver Everett
                Jose Feliciano
                Ella Fitzgerald
                Peter Frampton
                Aretha Franklin
                Jerry Garcia
                Marvin Gaye
                Boy George
                George Gershwin
                Benny Goodman
                Macy Gray
                Dave Grohl
                Woody Guthrie
                Merle Haggard
                George Harrison
                John Lee Hooker
                Fiona Horne
                Lena Horne
                Janis Ian
                Natalie Imbruglia
                Wolfman Jack
                Jay-Z
                Billy Joel
                Elton John
                Rickie Lee Jones
                Tom Jones
                Chaka Khan
                Kid Rock
                B.B. King
                Eartha Kitt
                Gladys Knight
                Avril Lavigne
                Little Richard
                Don Omar
                Brian Littrell
                LL Cool J
                Courtney Love
                Loretta Lynn
                Shirley Manson
                Chan Marshall
                Dean Martin
                Natalie Merchant
                George Michael
                Liza Minnelli
                Van Morrison
                Nelly
                Wayne Newton
                Sinéad O'Connor
                Kelly Osbourne
                Ozzy Osbourne
                Charlie Parker
                Tom Petty
                Sam Phillips
                Prince
                Otis Redding
                Busta Rhymes
                Axl Rose
                Ja Rule
                Scarface
                Chuck Schuldiner
                Seal
                Frank Sinatra
                Scott Stapp
                Ringo Starr
                Donna Summer
                James Taylor
                Randy Travis
                Tanya Tucker
                Steven Tyler
                Stevie Ray Vaughan
                Barry White
                Hank Williams
                Wendy Orlean Williams
                Eric Wright
                Tammy Wynette
                Elliott Yamin
                Neil Young

NEWS ANCHORS, JOURNALISTS, AND REPORTERS
                Peter Jennings

POLITICIANS, SOCIALITES, AND ROYALTY
                Margaret Brown
                Diana, Princess of Wales
                Buzz Hargrove
                Horace Greeley
                Roy Greensmith
                John Major
                Walter Nash
                Ruth Ann Minner
                Ralph Klein
                J.J. Brewer
                Ralph Bauer
                Dee Dee Amoya
                Ronald Reagan
                Allen Narito

SCIENTISTS AND INVENTORS
                James Buchanan Eads
                Albert Einstein
                Anton van Leeuwenhoek
                Garrett A. Morgan
                Wright brothers

SPORTS PLAYERS
                Boris Becker
                Yogi Berra
                Björn Borg
                Jennifer Capriati
                Joe DiMaggio
                Dale Earnhardt
                George Foreman
                Nick Faldo
                Joe Frazier
                Bobby Hull
                Evel Knievel
                Tommy Lasorda
                Joe Louis
                Bobby Orr
                Alberto Tomba

UNCATEGORIZED
                Robert Evans
                John Llewellyn
                Daniel Negreanu
                Olivia Newton-John
                Adolph Ochs
                Brian Orser
                Jack Paar
                Gordon Parks
                Rosa Parks
                Evita Peron
                Donald Pleasence
                Sarah Polley
                Charley Pride
                Wolfgang Puck
                Anthony Quinn
                Paul Revere
                Ann Marie Roberts
                Nora Roberts
                Chi Chi Rodriguez
                Roy Rogers
                Theresa Russell
                Derek Sanderson
                William Saroyan
                Christopher Scarver
                Anna Nicole Smith
                Casey Stengel
                Robert Stigwood
                François Truffaut
                Twiggy
                Tracey Ullman
                Peter Ustinov
                Jean-Claude Van Damme
                Gloria Vanderbilt
                Estella Warren
                Lawrence Welk
                Kitty Wells
                Mae West
                Babe Didrikson Zaharias

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