It is now week 6 of term 1 and I can honestly
say without reservation that the move to retrain as a teacher was one of the
best decisions I ever made. To have the opportunity to make a difference in the
lives of our youth, to be able to encourage and build confidence where self
esteem issues are prevalent and to be able to support learning outcomes for
students and work in a collaborative environment are all very compelling
reasons to become a teacher and to stay a teacher. I really do love it more
than I thought I would. I am so happy..... happier than I ever thought possible
at work, hence the arriving at school at 7am and leaving after 5 most days. I
just LOVE it. The overall environment may well be criticized by many and tired
worn out teachers may have become cynical and to some extent have 'given up' on
students in favour of a routine that secures a pay packet every fortnight but
all in all teachers are a resilient and sturdy bunch who truly care who are
ever hopeful of being of service. Ok!? All good right? Yes, all good.
So, what is the one big pain in my arse (sorry
for the expletive but as you will soon see, I am so over this)! One colleague,
who just happens to be in Senior Management, has done nothing but complain and
moan and carry on about my having a PhD. It became very clear very early on that
he does not agree with the Principals "plan" to "employ more
people like" me which apparently, so he tells me has gotten the backs up
of lots of other staff members. Apparently, so this fella tells me, "staff
feel threatened that every new member of staff employed this year have PhD's or
are working towards one". Ok - right, I can understand that. Yes, if I
were an existing member of staff, I possibly would feel threatened by my boss
hiring only those people who have PhD's. I can understand that if it were true
that there was an agenda to actually do this.
As, it turns out, "all the new staff
employed" this year do not in fact have PhD's, nor are they working
towards one. Even if they were it actually makes no difference whatsoever to
teaching ability which this fella in Senior Management is often pointing out to
me. "Having a PhD doesn't mean you'll be a good teacher" - Am I dumb
I ask myself! I know this is true - not all individuals who have a Diploma in
Teaching and Learning make good teachers either so really he has no argument or
real point at all, yet he still, goes on. YES - I BLOODY WELL GET IT - I
understand that he doesn't like the fact I have a PhD but honestly, it really
has nothing to do with him. It also does not have any bearing on whether I will
or will not be a good teacher or, on my salary, chances of promotion or ought
else. I truly wish he would get over himself. (After almost 5 weeks of this I
am getting tired of hearing it). Anyway, on further discussions and general
chit chat with other staff, it is clear there are issues and factors around
resentments and hurts that are historical and for which I am bearing the brunt,
but on getting to know these other staff members I quickly realised that they
have nothing against me personally at all. In fact, I kind of sympathise with
all the changes they have had to endure and acknowledge that maybe they just
need more time to settle and find their place in the new structure at school
and also in regard to the new philosophies that the Principal is trying to
instill. So, all good there. The individuals who did not want to give me time
of day because of what I represented and what I have achieved now treat me
collegially and with some degree of respect. I can ask for no more than that
and I am happy to call them my colleagues.
Now, that leaves the fella in Senior Management
who takes every opportunity to put me down or speak to me in a way that is not
only offensive but embarrassing when in front of other staff members. Now,
don't get me wrong, I can take a joke, but when I am constantly ridiculed and
belittled and spoken to with orders that are fiercely directed at me it has
gone beyond a joke into the realms of sheer ugliness and personal attack. For
example, the latest attack was in front of two other staff members yesterday.
As I was walking passed them to collect photocopying, this fella literally
shouts me over and in a loud commanding voice says "SIT" as if I were
a dog. I said "excuse me?" and he said again in a loud ordered voice
"SIT" to which I replied "No man, ever in my life has spoken to
me like that" to which he simply replied "I wouldnt dare speak to my
wife like that and if she knew I had spoken to someone like that she would have
something to say". He laughed... I was not laughing! He ordered me once more to "just sit". Still, there was no
apology and he continued laughing. I said calmly "maybe this time I will
make an exception" and I sat down awkwardly and rather embarrassed and asked "how can I help
you?" He went on to say that the Principal does not want me to teach the
Year 11 science class but he thinks it might be a good idea. Now, there are
many things wrong with this, not least that I know he is lieing.
For the last five weeks he has been trying to
pit me against the Deputy and the Principal and all the time I have been
telling him that these two people have been nothing but supportive and
encouraging towards me. He blamed the staff who were threatened by my having a
PhD on the Deputy, saying it was her who "told everyone, all new staff
have a PhD" when in fact all I see and hear is him making a song and dance
about this, even though I have told him it is not true. It is like he is trying
to pit me against the people that I trust and who gave me this job and I will
not have it. I think, but cannot prove, that this is why his manner and
attitude towards me has become even more aggressive. Yet, he is a well
respected, influential and a well liked member of staff so if I speak out I am
likely to be further ostracized and treated unfairly. So, what do I do. A rock
and a hard place springs to mind...
Right, back to Friday and the "SIT"
order he yelled at me. As it happens I already know about the Year 11 Science
class and the request from the HoD of science for me to take the class, but the
'facts' already relayed to me where not the same as the Senior Management fella
stated. Now, the HoD, told me
that this Senior Fella chap said 'no, it would not be allowed' but when she
asked if the Principal, she stated she would consider letting me teach this
class. Yet, the Senior Management guy stated on Friday that this was actually
the opposite way round. Which is true? It is like he is trying to play at being
my 'friend' when in actual fact what he is saying and doing is the complete
opposite to get me off side with the very people who gave me this teaching
opportunity - Little does he know that my loyalty lays with those that employed
me with his mind games and subtle manipulations.
I am not saying I will teach the class at this
stage as I do have my hands full with my PRT load and the running of ESOL. In
addition, the ESOL students are now comfortable with me, but I would like to
explore the options if in fact the Principal, as the HoD in Science indicated,
was willing to consider it. Regardless, I wouldnt want to upset the Principal
as she has been very supportive and encouraging towards me and I would not want
any other aspect of my teaching suffer, least of all the students who would
loose me to another class.
So, the truth as it appears to actually be is
this.
1. There are NOT a dozen or so staff overly
threatened by me that they will not accept me as this Senior Management fella
indicated
2. There are staff members, who he has himself
convinced, believe that the Principal has employed and will only employ staff
with PhD's - the TRUTH IS that this IS NOT SO and I am in fact the only new
employee with a PhD albeit some of the others do have Masters Degrees, but then
so do existing staff members. A fact he seems to be willing to overlook!
3. He is the only one who is threatened and needs to express this by talking to me in the most offensive way, which is more than just having a 'joke' or being 'funny' - it is inappropriate and offensive and demeans me in front of other staff.
4. He is the one using the manipulations of the 'truth' for his own ends to make himself appear as my 'friend' or an 'allie' when in fact he is trying only to cause rifts between me and others, which I DO NOT WANT.
5. He is the one waiting for me to fall flat on
my face thinking I could not handle the ESOL funding as well as PRT teaching
loads and duties and I truly think he is disappointed I managed this. His
expressed 'concern' about me to many staff members and his discussions of me
with other PRT's already caused me embarrassment when a particular PRT told me
"he is really worried about you" - to which I was taken aback especially as I already stated I was very happy and managing so far. These
'concerns' were filtered back to me from another new PRT and were unjustified
and made me look like I couldn't cope only because he had stated that, when in actual fact I believe I have done
just fine and proved my ability to date.
So, what do I do? Do I now say something to the
people who employed me and hope to God they believe me or has he already
managed to make them think negatively of me already or / and made them doubt I
am able?
It was easier to deal with when he was putting
me down without others hearing but now it has started in front of other staff
members I think it is time to review my options. I was looking forward to ESOL
teaching for the foreseeable future but considering this chap will soon be my
Learning Department Head it might be best I jump ship and try and transfer to
science so I don't have to put up with his put downs, talking to me like a dog
he can order around and criticizing my personal achievements. Yes, I think I
need to be strategic even if proving him right - "she cant cope"
(BS***). Surely, that is better than being a whipping boy for his insecurities
and stupid games. I'm over it.
A possible strategy - take on the Year 11
science class and ask later to be moved to science away from him. Then I do not
have to complain or make any waves that may well come and bite me in the arse
because staff are, in reality, likely to stand by him, not the newby - me,
especially as at least one PRT has been convinced by him that I "take
things the wrong way" .... anyone listening or seeing how he spoke to me
on Friday could not mistake that for being anything other than verbal
controlling abuse.
I dont need the money - I am teaching for the students so I could in
reality leave. Whose going to back me up anyway . . . . he's well liked. At the
end of the day, I represent what other staff already tell me they don't want -
lots of teachers with PhD's as much as they may like me. What I represent and
what I have already achieved stands against me. I am going to have to be very
careful. He's clever alright. Playing devils advocate and I don't play games.
Still, he is well respected, probably moreso because most feel he had no chance
of the job he now has. Rather than see the Principal as a fair and just person
who gave the job to the best person, he complains about not expecting to get it
because of her. It's all rather backwards, disloyal and manipulative and I DO
NOT LIKE IT. I'm too old for games and crap like this. I don't need it - job
hunting I think. There, decision made - he can have his way.
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