Week 4 - What Happened?!

Sometimes I wake up and the snooze button is no longer inviting me to prod, poke and fumble around for it in the dark. On the contrary, I can't wait to go to school. The students are all so individual and unique. Watching them is sometimes like taking a snapshot of a moment in time that may one day define a character or thought inside them. It's kinda scary to know that one thing you may say or do could colour their vision of something, someone or whatever else, not just now, but in the future, and that is quite a terrifying honour.

I don't know what happened this week but I suddenly became scared of inflicting a negative rather than a positive influence. It could have been having to withdraw a student from class and not having him, as yet, return. That worries me and makes me wonder if I should have embarked down that avenue of discipline or whether I should have commenced retraining at all. I feel somewhat concerned and unhinged thinking that withdrawing him may have made him suffer in some way other than having to improve his behaviour.

Then, it could just be life effecting my thought processes. The plumbing is loose... I won't even go on about how much eqc have messed up our home... It's depressingly beyond a joke....and, then, there's the other halfs job situation and that's nothing to shrug off. And, ive never been unemployed so looking down the barrel of 9 more weeks to an endless expanse of who knows what is unnerving. All maybe taking its toll.... So, to sleep on it I think, and tomorrow I will just have to pull myself together, get up and get on with it.

God says he has a plan for me, and not to worry... I just hope he ain't lost the blueprints......