About Roset

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No words can explain how deeply people want to connect with each other. How much pain they will suffer trying to be accepted, to be valued and to be loved. The yearning to be wanted is probably the most trauma that some individuals will ever inflict up on themselves. No matter race, colour, creed, sexual orientation, religion, culture, gender, age or any other factor, what everyone wants is to belong, to connect, to be loved. It is so easy to reach out to someone yet, for some it is the most difficult thing to find someone to connect to. Reach out to those you meet in your daily march. You just never know whose life you might touch, what spark, even unknowingly, you may make.

Saturday 15 August 2015

Thoughts about main stream education

Concerned about working within an education system that is appearing more box like everyday . . . I'd love to take students out to explore reality . . .  for now, I have to make do with an enclosed box, Achievement Standard parameters and teaching so students score well in standardised tests . . . Whilst much of it is 'fun' is it really 'Education?' 
There are many ways to be kind,,,,,, be at the end of the day kindness is kindness: let it be expressed by individuals as an individual act instead of making everyone fit a confounded box of parameters with expected specific outcomes.




There are many ways to be kind,,,,,, be at the end of the day kindness is kindness: let it be expressed by individuals as an individual act instead of making everyone fit a confounded box of parameters with expected specific outcomes.

Saturday 25 April 2015

Science vs Religion

For me evolution and creation are not exclusive. 

In my work I have seen adaption of animals and plants constantly and believe there is greater knowledge in an organisms genes than man could ever understand, hence the miracles and mysteries that exist in the world that we still cannot fathom let alone master. 

All too often the word 'evolution' is misunderstood . . . it does not mean and has never meant that humans evolved from monkeys!!!! This was a statement one person made a very long time ago and it stuck, then spread like wild fire. As a result the general population and especially religious zealots always comment on this topic in a way that shows lack of understanding and little insight in to the reality, as is observable, of nature. Evolutionary theory NEVER ever stated we evolved from monkeys or apes . . . in fact evolutionary theory, if understood correctly within a proper scientific stance gives credence to the development of different lines of species. Furthermore, genetics shows us the common linkage between them. Having a certain number of genes in common with a banana (as humans do) does not provide evidence that we 'evolved' from a banana just as much as having genes in common with pigs and monkeys is not evidence of evolving from them! 

For those that believe in God or a diety of any kind that is believed to have intelligently designed 'creations' it is no more fanatical to think that a diety is able to create complex systems for life to exist where some building blocks would be in common to all creatures or that tools are built into cells and genes that would enable a 'creation' to adapt to specific environments and changes. It is no less wonderous to a scientist to see that genes have the ability to change, sometimes spontaneously to show new and novel phenotypes (physical traits) not seen previously as they are needed. A scientist would see these links. 

As religious folk do with the fragments of historical documents they have, paste bits together to form an as coherant journey as possible, even where significant parts are absent so does a scietist. If a person truly beleives in what they cannot see, yet has faith and can form an 'absolute truth' from documents made from a variety of books and pieces of work based on subjective accounts then surely the work of a scientist is no less significant and valiid based on using the same methods and relating what is observable to it. In many ways science has a form of logical and methodology and collaboration across cultures with various religious beleifs to arrive at conclusions. (Possibly a lesson here for religious affiliations that continue to fight each other)! Religion and science are not exclusive. Both rely on faith, piecing together what cannot be seen with what can be obsevred and arriving at a conclusion, which for the time being, until other parts of the puzzle are uncovered remain the 'truth' as it is stated today. 

The world whether a person is religious or not is a wonderous, amazing and mind blowing place that should be cherished. It is a source of miracles, some of which can be understood by science and some of which are based in faith that science cannot yet explain. Either way, before trying to discredit those with a religious viewpoint or focus on discrediting science, know your facts (whatever they have evolved to be today) rather than quote misguided, misunderstood and widely spread fallacies and untruiths to give evidence of an arguement based on ignorance. After all - what we think we know today, either about religion or science will no doubt be laughable in the future., and so on it goes. Niether religion or science are the source of all knowledge and should not pertain to be but nothing is to be gained by endless battles of discrediting one or the other. At very least, if the two cannot agree, then be accepting, kindly and tolerant of the other. Afterall, without an open mind, both are nothing more than fantastical stories where the general public have to have 'faith' in those telling them 'what is' today.

Thursday 23 April 2015

Choosing the right employer is as important as the decision to make you an offer

'Musings about employment 'fits'

 

It is not so much finding a "good" job that is important but rather finding an employer that is as good a "fit" for you as it is for them. This is as important for an employee as it is for the employer. Sometimes with the pressures of finance, family, living cost and maybe even feeling unsettled or unhappy in a current position it can be easy to forget that moving into a new employment position is a two way street. It is as important that any new employer can meet your expectations as much as you meet theirs. Using this premise the eventual outlook is likely to be that you find a "good workplace" even if the view of others maybe somewhat contradictory to your own. It would not do if we all enjoyed the exact same work environment or conditions. All employment environments are not equal, nor are all positions suited to everyone. This is to be expected with different management styles, focus on different philosophies, the use of or restriction of devices and of course the attitude, manner and behaviour of management and leadership teams that can often make an employment situation enjoyable or destroy any desire to drag an unwilling carcass out of bed every morning to arrive at work. This equally applies to the teaching profession which is the focus of the rest of this article.

 

Some schools have a 'special ethos' and if able to work within the parameters set by that ethos then all should be harmonious. However, sometimes the extent of a 'special ethos' may not be entirely clear from outset and may for example include bias towards men in management teams as is the case in particular schools set up as a closed communities and having students only from their own beliefs or culture. In some such communities females are excluded from being formal members of the Board of Trustees or from CEO status and teachers are not permitted to encourage female students on to any form of education after completion of their closed school education and also prohibits external resource material or discussions about the wider world that falls outside of community beliefs. Of course such archaic philosophies will have, even if discretely an effect on staff and students but are acceptable to many. 

 

The negative aspect of excluding women from a Board of Trustees or from CEO status is that archaic stereotypes are enforced, even if discretely, not only on females within the community but also on female students and staff. It is then inevitable that within a male dominated system and hierarchy that those females who do rise to Deputy Principal or even Principal are still seen as lesser in value than a male counterpart and to accommodate this have to themselves reflect an aggressive stance to maintain their position. For some, working in such an environment the hierarchy and male dominance will have no day-to-day implications but there is a common consensus that such employment conditions are not conducive to equal rights for staff and particularly not for students. Such schools may promote the lack of external resources, prohibition of female career discussion or higher education discussions or conversations about the wider world in general which will make it much more difficult for teachers to leave these types of employments in the future. This is compounded by some communities prohibiting non community members, usually teaching staff from being able to eat or drink with community members or students reducing cohesiveness and setting an 'us' and 'themn' mentality which may not be conducive to collegiality or trust. Subsequent issues for teachers then wishing to leave such an environment for new employment which allows progression and equality and acceptance of all, including other ethnic groups whom are excluded from closed communities is the lack of equality, general inclusion and contact with other ethnicities. 

 

It is particularly saddening that as a result of some schools closed community philosophies the Te Reo and Maori components of Registered Teacher Criteria are exempted. One would think that living in a country where one of the official languages is Te Reo and where a rich history in Maori culture, spirituality, art and language exists that schools in New Zealand should ever be exempted from these criteria. It would be a rich experience for students in any closed environment to at very least learn about the country and the heritage that makes New Zealand what it is today without excluding Te Reo and Maori from RTC's let alone encouraging exclusion of Asian and other cultures in the processes. With so many wonderful professional individuals able to relay topics related to Marae's and Maori customs and the lands we now inhabit it would, in my view, not be difficult to employ external professionals to lead such content in a way that does not question the parameters of any 'special ethos' school that otherwise feel the need to apply for exemption. Having no Maori or other ethnic group within a school does not mean exclusion of being able to teach to those groups nor from having lessons with appropriate content for those groups if only to establish a more tolerant and accepting set of youths within an otherwise closed community that has no other opportunity to experience how others learn and hence have the potential to increase in a lack of tolerance, acceptance or knowledge of others. Conversely and positively, it is these exclusions and exemptions that render more enrolments for such closed community schools who may promote themselves as excluded from 'worldlies' - anyone not of their own community. 

 

It is not only male dominated or closed community schools that have philosophies or management styles that may not suit everyone. With such a large number of schools and layers of management there will always be those who thrive on the perceived power that they believe they hold. One only has to read news articles to acknowledge abuses of position which include lies, deceit and unprofessional behaviour towards staff and students. These are not isolated cases but can appear in any decile school in any location across New Zealand and relate to both men and women in power. Some management styles thrive on power they believe they have been endowed with when in reality the position they hold comes with a significant amount of responsibility to lead by example and show a deeper compassion, understanding and kindly view of human nature in order to serve those below them in the best possible way, not being least the students. Unfortunately, some see their positions as a right to bully and intimidate and spread malicious lies with a focus to discredit anyone who may stand up against bad practice, behaviour or who in their perceived roll of dominance lash out due to suffering from 'tall poppy syndrome'. For such people the overwhelming need to spread slanderous untruths about others is nothing more than a reflection of their own insecurities and inability to celebrate the success of others. Tall Poppy Syndrome is present throughout many workforces and destroys morale and collegiality. It aims to build the perpetrator up and provide justification for their own behaviour by making an innocent but less 'powerful' or 'established' person the target for their malice by way of endeavouring to discredit them for exemplary completion of a task or who may be seen to have outshone others in some way. Such negative people exist at every layer of employment and there is not much anyone can do when in other ways they contribute successfully, usually in a solo capacity, to their workplace. Solo endeavours generally include funding or particularly useful contacts or activities where they are most dominant over projects and recognise others as mere minions serving the success of one rather than all. For anyone finding themselves in such a situation it is important to continue to 'shine' and find a more collegial and professional workplace where 21st Century leadership has evolved beyond dictatorship and individual ego's. Aim to share future successes with more like minded, collegial and supportive people who celebrate each others successes rather than try and tear each other down.

 

It isn't all bad. There are schools, which are generally in the majority who have Board of Trustees who are focused on student wellbeing and finding ways to support teachers in finding ways to assist students on to all they can be. Leaders and managers who do not lead by threats, cohesion, mistruths and power games but who are truly inspirational and motivational leaders that are open to dialogue, feedback, collegial cooperation and who recognise teachers as much as students as individuals, create environments that are safe to explore, create and try new things and encourage working as a team allowing everyone to contribute their own strengths and support each others weaknesses. Individuals are seen as being of worth and value and are encouraged to contribute, celebrate individualism along with successes and where failures are seen as a stepping stone to something learnt rather than to be punished or used to discredit one another. Great leaders are those that lead by example, who have fine tuned social skills and who advocate for equity as well as equality for all. They recognise the value of having a motivated and contented staff who in turn can contribute to student achievement and a healthy work environment. Managers and leaders who get the very best from employees are those who are seen during the good times and those most challenging periods, who celebrate achievement rather than just make themselves viewable when dishing out reprimands. The greatest leaders have lead by compassion, fairly and equally without bias or ideas of grandeur or exclusion. This doesn't mean that difficult decisions are not made or uncomfortable situations or issues are left unaddressed but rather they are faced and dealt with in a professional and transparent manner allowing support, feedback and fair outcomes for all, that in conclusion prove beneficial for everyone. Great leaders recognise the importance of teams and their being a part of it rather than above and beyond it remaining untouchable and unapproachable to the masses below them. They have a grasp of the greater picture - doing good to others so all can succeed and thrive even if this means at time making difficult decisions. There are multitudes of articles that outline what makes a great manager, leader or boss. Not all styles will suit everyone. What fits one person may not fit another and choosing an employer is again as important as an employer choosing the employee.

 

Overall, schools are not equal in management style, resource access (which is not necessarily related to decile) or in employee contentment. Where-ever one chooses to work, whether within a closed community with strict parameters governing information and advocating even if discretely inequality and exclusion of other ethnicities, a school with a specific religious or cultural ethos, or a general open public school - no-one can tell you where you would best 'fit' or where you would feel most comfortable. This is as much your choice and decision as it is an employers choice to pick you!

 

What often makes the difference to most employees is having supportive management that encourages professional development and individual growth that in the end will benefit the workplace and in regard to teachers, their endeavour to serve. At the end of the day if an employment situation 'fits' the individual they are more likely to thrive and succeed and subsequently engage and motivate others. Teachers are more likely to be able to motivate students, whatever the environment, if they are content within their environment whatever that may be for the individual. Finding that 'fit' is as important for individuals as it is for the school as a whole. 

 

When all the cogs are grinding together to the same aims and goals then no matter whether a school has a special ethos or not, is high or low decile; the 'machine' is more likely to render results with contented staff employed under leadership they can respect and look up to and within an environment that reflects fairness and the individual teachers comfort zone. The range of schools, management styles, philosophies and hierarchal models of leadership are so varied in New Zealand that there will be an employment position that best suits each teacher. If that is within a closed community with no Maori or other cultural content at all or whether in a large public multi-cultural school depends on the individual. If it includes 21st Century leadership or more traditional authoritative and dictatorship management styles is personal preference. The aim is, find the best fit for yourself where you can thrive and serve your students in the best possible way. Whatever your choice, the decision to accept a role is as important as that made to make you an offer. It is, then, just as well that all schools, philosophies and management styles are not equal as to cater for individual choice whatever our personal opinions or thoughts maybe about any specific ethos or style. For myself, I wouldn't advocate exclusion of anyone, but each to their own.  




Friday 23 January 2015

A post in response to a teacher telling me they are continuously the focus of 'Tall Poppy Syndrome'.

I've experienced that too. . . here is my reply and advice to you . . . 

If when you do not agree with someone they tell you "you're overreacting" or when someone tries to discredit your accomplishments, character or life and when responding with justified statements or frustration, anger or upset are told "you are unstable" . . . remember . . . the person or people that feel the need to do these things are projecting their own insecurities and inner dark struggles. It is they that lack moral fibre, ethics and professionalism . . . Their endless attack on you means you are doing something right and shows them as cowards reflecting themselves as being trapped within what they cannot change, jealous that you can and envious of who you are and what you have achieved beyond what their tiny little narrow minds can comprehend. They may attest to 'know' what you achieved but in reality cannot due to lack of experience or actually achieving themselves. Realise this - you are not 'overreacting' if you 'dare' disagree with someone nor are you 'unstable' if after being attacked you react with some emotion...in reality all it means is you are NORMAL dealing with some very ABNMORMAL BULLSHIT . . . Continue to be yourself and NEVER, never be afraid to be proud of what you have achieved and show it to the world to honour your God (or otherwise if you dont believe in God - your parents who supported you or to honour your family / friends who encouraged you) given talents, skills and attributes. If others cant stand that . . . its their failing NOT yours. Be kind, wish them well and walk away. Let them writh and foam in their negativity and keep shining your light in compassion and love. You know who this is for . . . NEVER NEVER give up and be happy for the haters because it means YOU are doing something RIGHT. Always here for you. xo.... Don't give up because someone or some people project their shame, failings and insecurities on to you . . . they wont change . . . be sad for that . . . and show pity in compassion and forgiveness.





Wednesday 21 May 2014

Life in the second year of teaching

I learn't that sometimes it is not only the students that need teaching, but also the parents. So, when I saw this billboard it made me smile.


Friday 27 September 2013

Term 3, 2013

Well. .. I moved on to a new teaching position.  Much more like I thought teaching should be.  Happy. .. All good. 

Monday 2 September 2013

New job - different experience . . .

It has been a while since my last blog. After my first quite negative experience teaching I felt leaving things a little while to settle in to a new role and determine if teaching is for me would be a good idea. As it is my introduction to my new job within a new school could not have been more positive. The PRT process is not used as a threat or in a punitive way but rather as a team project to support and encourage a 'newbie' on to success. It is everything I envisioned the PRT process should be. My tutor, otherwise known as a mentor teacher, is very well experienced, forthcoming with guidance and support and is quick to commend and slow to criticize but when there is need she guides, provides example and gives input. It is simply wonderful and for the first time since entering the teaching profession I feel supported, encouraged and guided within an environment where I feel confident I could make a mistake and someone would be there to realign, educate and lead me on to success. Not that I plan to fail or make a mistake but I am a new teacher and at some point, being human and new to teaching, it is inevitable I will make an error. 

My SCT, Deputy and Head are all supportive and encouraging as well. The school is composite and rural so there is a feeling of real community. The parents, cousins, spouses and extended family of students attend school or work locally. Everyone knows what is going on and they know who I am before I have even met them. I am enjoying the smaller community but miss the ability to be able to go out at night for a brew or ice-cream. Other than walking the dog there isn't anywhere to go or anything to do, but the upside is I can make funky lessons for physics, mechanics, biology, astronomy and geology! To be honest, even if I had the opportunity to go out I find I am rather exhausted each evening so probably wouldn't go out anyhow! 

I had my first parent meeting today. A naughty year 12 student refused to do any work in class, outwardly distracted others and then refused to my face to complete any activity given him. I checked his knowledge and ability and even he could do the work, refused and started texting. After determining there was no emergency or other issue he needed allowance for I agreed to a meeting with his father who the student had told little porkies too. Naughty! Anyway, the meeting went well and now we are all on the same page I will be texting the students father with any future defiance! The funniest thing was when I told the student last week to stop texting during lesson time to which he said he would report me to his father. I told him to do just that and I would be very happy to meet his father. The student didn't tell his father that and now his father has told me that his son needs to be told once and once only then the phone should be removed. The same with swearing or defiance.

So, with the support of the father, my tutor teacher and the wider school I'll be setting clear expectations, yet again in hope that some work will be completed in readiness for the external exam at the end of the term.

I have duty with the littlies twice a week and it makes me wish I had studied primary instead of secondary teaching. I love their little faces and total raw honesty. Actually, I really felt an affinity with the Year 7 & 8 students and my perfect job would be teaching this age range. Gosh! It would be a dream. This and the fact they are so easilly awe struck with science ideas and amazing facts. Anyway, for now I am enjoying the primary school and I cant get over how fast their little legs can run when they see a football they want to play with but before being given it having to eat all their lunch and show the lunch box to me to prove it. Their little eyes and the anticipation of being told "ok, good - you can go and play now" - it touches me. So, so cute. They are so eager to report an injustice or bad behaviour and have a real sense of right and wrong but gee, they can be stubborn and unforgiving when theres been a fall out. There is no mistaking how they are feeling: happy, sad, angry, frustrated...all the emotions are just there. Its kinda human-nature worn on the outside and voiced with no sense of boundaries. I love my duty times. Makes me laugh and occasionally moves me. Yes, I wish I had trained primary instead of secondary. Still, I am having a great experience. 

The school is more like what I expected from teaching. There are usual issues when so many people work together but nothing out of the ordinary. I like it. Its a bit lonely out here all by myself, but overall, I am having a positive time. I am much happier having moved schools. Whether it is until the end of the year or the end of next year is yet to be seen. In the meantime I'll do my best to teach, inspire and educate. I am so blessed.

Wednesday 21 August 2013

My top six lessons learnt so far . . .


What did I learn when I stepped in faith and retrained as a teacher? So much! Let me see if I can summarise it succinctly....

1. There is always someone who wants to see you fail - petty jealousies are childish. The personal and professional damage and hurt they inflict are not. They are master manipulators and camouflage the truth but don't give in... If you must do something and you can't change it, avoid it or accept it - walk away with dignity knowing you did the best you could do. Do not falter in this regard.

2. Students - students are the future and should be given every opportunity to shine even if they shine in a way outside the box, in an unexpected glow that surprises - be open to that possibility.

3. Students will respect you if you respect them too - get passed the bravado and unwanted behaviour and embrace the unique person beyond it. It's worth it.

4. All students, like people, want to feel valued and have a sense of place and meaning - help them find it. They'll amaze you.

5. Don't let anything or anyone take your attention away from core business - student welfare and education. To serve is a privilege.

6. Finally, believe - believe that you can make a difference - you will! Believe in your students - they will surprise you. Believe in the vision of positivity and success - it might not go according to plan, but miracles might just happen!

Teach - the ultimate service of love, hope and kindness - just as God loves us and sent his son to serve - endeavour to serve. What you do and say will nurture or destroy a young mind. Students deserve the best in comments, body language and encouragement however exasperated you may become. Don't lose hope. Carry on.

Have faith......anything is truly possible.

Tuesday 6 August 2013

Dictatorial' style sees principal sacked - This could equally apply to Heads of Depts, CEOs, Directors, Managers and other leaders etc


'Dictatorial' style sees principal sacked



Former Bay of Islands College principal Elgin Edwards has failed to have his sacking ruled unjustified and to be reinstated.

In a decision today, the Employment Relations Authority (ERA) said a constant theme had been Edwards' apparent inability to build enduring relationships with other stakeholders in the school community and his explicit refusal to accept that he had ever done anything wrong.

Edwards became principal of the Kawakawa school in January 2010, and after that a new board of trustees sought help from the Ministry of Education through a statutory intervention.

In January 2012, Beverley Pitkethley was appointed limited statutory manager of the school, and she was followed by Carol Anderson in June 2012.

For all practical purposes, Anderson became Edwards' employer. She dismissed him in April this year.

Evidence heard by the ERA was essentially that the board of trustees had felt it was unable to cope with a deteriorating environment at the school, authority member James Crichton said in the decision.

Two board members had given evidence of their growing anxiety about the relationship breakdown within the wider school community, which they attributed to Edwards' approach.

Pitkethley told the authority that in the first few months of her appointment she formed a positive view of Edwards' goals for pupil achievement but a negative view of his methods, the ERA decision said.

"She described his style as 'authoritarian and dictatorial', referred to 'an absence of any meaningful consultation', a reluctance by the principal to engage personally with the school and its community, including his failure to be seen 'out and about' around the school, and a comprehensive breakdown in the relationship with the local community," it said.

Pitkethley had said the board, like staff, felt "marginalised, patronised and disempowered" by Edwards.

"Ms Pitkethley also saw an unwillingness on the part of Mr Edwards to accept that any of the negative consequences were his responsibility and he preferred to analyse things in terms of a conspiracy of negative-minded staff," the decision said.

Anderson, after taking over as the limited statutory manager, said in a letter to Edwards last September that he needed to change the way he operated.

Edwards had maintained in evidence to the authority that Anderson had developed a negative approach to him immediately and set about overwhelming him with complaints, requests and allegations, the decision said.

Unsuccessful mediation had taken place last year, with further mediation in January 2013.

In February this year, a formal support and guidance action plan drawn up by Anderson for Edwards was implemented, although Edwards raised concerns about it.

About that time, a complaint was received about Edwards' treatment of a staff member.

A meeting in March this year between Anderson and Edwards was terminated, with Anderson's evidence being that Edwards had become "heated and vehement".

Edwards had said it was his idea to end the conversation and that he had been "calm and gentle", and Anderson had become "agitated and personal".

"You then stood over me and berated me with personal comments about how I looked," he said.

In a letter to Edwards in late March, Anderson said "the situation is no longer tenable", and asked Edwards to make himself available for "a final opportunity" to respond to concerns.

Edwards' counsel had said phrases used in the letter indicated Anderson had already decided to dismiss Edwards at that stage, but the ERA disagreed.

While the letter could have been more judiciously worded, particularly to make clear Anderson's conclusions were preliminary, it would have been wrong to hold those provisional conclusions back from Edwards, the authority said.

The parties met at a disciplinary meeting in mid-April. According to Anderson, Edwards did not take as fulsome an opportunity to defend his position as she would have expected, the ERA decision said.

By letter dated two days later, Anderson sacked Edwards.

The decision said the dismissal was in the context of a long-running dispute between Edwards and a succession of employer parties about his behaviour, and in particular about his inability to build wholesome relationships with the people around him.

" ... a constant theme was Mr Edwards' apparent inability to build enduring relationships with other stakeholders in the school community and his explicit refusal until the authority's investigation meeting to accept that he had ever done anything wrong," the ERA said.

" This abrupt righteousness, which seems characteristic of his behaviour in his time at the school, has done him little service."

The ERA determined Edwards had been justifiably dismissed.

- © Fairfax NZ News


Tuesday 30 July 2013

Tall poppy syndrome!

http://annemariecross.com/victim-of-the-tall-poppy-syndrome-what-to-do-when-things-get-nasty

tall-poppy

The tall poppy syndrome is well and truly alive.

For those of you who may not be familiar with this saying, Wikipedia describes the tall poppy syndrome as: “a social phenomenon in which people of genuine merit are resented, attacked, cut down, or criticised because their talents or achievements elevate them above or distinguish them from their peers”.

As you continue to grow your business and increase your credibility and reputation within your field, not only will you capture the attention of your potential prospect/clients – you’ll also be noticed by your competitors and other people in your circle.

And, unfortunately, some of these people may not always have your best interests at heart. In fact, you may find that they try to hinder your progress through a direct attack on you personally and your work, or they’ll try to drag you down with their critical (naysayer) comments and/or actions.

I’m not talking about constructive criticism where someone is trying to offer you advice with good intentions because they want to see you grow and prosper.

I’m referring to the vindictive comments that are coming from a place of ‘do or die competitiveness’ or out of spite and envy with the sole intent on tarnishing your credibility or keeping you down.

In preparing for this article, I reached out to my social network and asked whether any of them had been a victim of the tall poppy syndrome. Sadly, many people could relate to this.

One woman found herself without a job after she had exposed several things to upper management that needed to be brought to their attention. Apparently her supervisor didn’t appreciate her new rise to fame and quickly saw to it that she was removed.

A few years later she opened her own business and was frequently told by people in her community that she’d never achieve the goals that she had set for herself.

So, if like this woman, you too have someone who is going out of their way to ‘attack, cut down or criticise you’ – what do you do? Should you come out fighting? Should you retaliate and serve them back some of their medicine? You know – tit for tat? Or do you just simply ignore them and hope they’ll go away?

Whatever you decide, I believe it’s important to hold true to your integrity and honour so that you can continue to hold your head up high.

Here are 3 tips to consider if ever you find yourself at the receiving end of the ‘tall poppy syndrome’.

1. Don’t stoop to their level

I think the most important thing to do is to avoid retaliation where you come out fighting and throwing negative comments back at them.

Stooping to their level and ‘serving them up a spoonful of their own medicine’ will only serve to take your attention, energy and focus away from what you SHOULD be focusing on – which is to continue the great work that you’re doing.

Action Step: Don’t get caught up in anger, frustration or retaliation – you’re worth so much more! Rather let your light shine brightly and continue to bring your message to the world, so that you can carry on helping the people who you know you are meant to serve.

2. Realise – it’s NOT about you

It’s important to realise that their remarks have nothing to do with you and the work you are doing, but rather EVERYTHING to do with them and their inability to achieve their own successes.

It’s THEIR stuff – their own issues and lack of self-worth and/or self-belief – and has nothing to do with you!

Action Step: Remind yourself of your mission and purpose and the people you are here to serve. Listening to the naysayers and critics will only delay you from achieving your bigger mission. Move on.

And, most important of all, is to:

3. Surround yourself with supportive people

Do you feel physically and emotionally drained after being in someone’s company where you have listened to their negative remarks? Being in the company of these naysayers and critics WILL impact your outcomes.

Are the people you associate with constantly telling you why something can’t be done, or why your plans are impossible to achieve? Perhaps that’s true for them. However are you going to let this person’s inability to reach their goals affect your ability to reach yours? I certainly hope not!

Action Step: Surround yourself with supportive people – people who will continue to encourage you to be the best you can be and who will celebrate alongside you as you continue to move from success to success.

The important thing to remember is to hold true to who you are and the work you do; keep your eyes firmly fixed on your goals; and to build a community of like-minded people who will continue to inspire and uplift you on your journey.

Did you find this article helpful? Have you been a victim of the tall poppy syndrome? What did you do? Share your stories/comments. It’s always great to hear from you!