• Bullying is not always in your face and obvious. If you doubt that bullying takes place strategically and in the 'invisibility' of other onlookers..take time to read this . . . Denying or putting down the persons feelings who is being bullied demeans them further and allows the bully(ies) to get away with even more events... it not only belittles the confidence the person being bullied had in speaking out but reduces further social involvement and increases isolation.

    The Silent Treatment Bully

    These bullies are much more subtle than the bullies we normally associate with name calling or tantrums. But make no mistake, this kind of bullying is just as aggressive, denigrating, and harmful as the behavior of the Name-Calling Bully or the Rage Bully. It's silent, like a poisonous snake, and just as deadly! Silent Treatment Bullies attack and manipulate by withdrawing and shutting out a particular person completely, leaving them alone and helpless, and feeling abandoned. The Silent Treatment Bully removes all power from the hands of the victim, forcing him or her to try and just get on with life and ignore that it is happening, like a hostage jailed in complete emotional isolation.

    Another awful side effect of this is that the bully's silence offers a blank slate onto which the victim will project all sorts of fears and anxieties, without any sense of how to address the problem, or even what the problem is: "What did I do?" "Have I said something?" "What's going on in her head?" "What on earth can I do to make this better?" "Is this all my fault?" This treatment is abandonment of the worst kind; the victims feel as though they have disappeared, that they don't exist.

    An example would be a person who wouldn't talk to another, but cast sideways glances in the direction of the person, but refused to acknowledge their presence in any way. When entering into a room, the bully would get up and leave. When the bullied person tries to speak to the bully, the bully would turn coldly and refuse to speak justing walking away. And when in company the bully would literally turn their back or partake in snide remarks and note passing, leaving the person increasingly demoralized and miserable. is this bullying? You bet it is!

    {C} Inside the Mind of the Silent Treatment Bully. These bully types - such as the Silent Treatment bully who employ subtler, stealthier bullying strategies, and often are threatened by the person they bully for no apparent factual reason. It could merely be the way another person looks, their achievements, the way they talk, their confidence or something as simple as the car or suburb they live in.

    {B} The Body Language Bully

    Much more difficult to spot than the Silent Treatment Bully is the Body Language Bully, whose techniques are so subtle that even their victims might not realize they're being bullied. The victims of these bullies might only get 'bad vibes' or feel strangely uncomfortable without being able to understand exactly what's disturbing them. Because of this subtlety, the victims might think that they're misinterpreting the bully's behavior, or that they have no right to speak up or take a stand, because it seems like there's not really anything to complain about. But trust me, there is.

    Body language is a key component of human communication. I'm sure you've heard the expression "Actions speak louder than words." It's absolutely true, and imperious bearing, disdainful expressions, or postures that threaten or shut out the victim--crossed arms and legs, leering or rolling eyes, turning away when the other person is speaking, looming menacingly over or looking down upon the victim, to name just a few examples--are every bit as damaging as cruel remarks or raised voices, and should be taken just as seriously.

    {C} Inside the Mind of the Body Language Bully

    The Body Language Bully might have learned his or her behaviors from a parent. Or, like the Silent Treatment Bully and other bully types who employ more subtle, stealthy bullying strategies, this bully might have been raised by a Rage Bully or an otherwise verbally or physically abusive parent and developed this stealth bullying method in response. Again, the focus of the bully may be fixated on something others may appear to consider irrelevant. 

    The Passive-Aggressive Bully

    This is another one of the 'stealth' bullies, along with the Silent Treatment and Body Language Bullies, who are all harder to spot because their bullying techniques are not in your face. In his or her behavior, the Passive-Aggressive Bully is almost the opposite of the Rage Bully or the Temper-Tantrum Bully; rather than reacting directly and immediately to a trigger situation, the thing that sets the bully off, Passive-Aggressive Bullies will often take their time, and will bully in indirect ways.

    {C} Inside the Mind of the Passive-Aggressive Bully

    This is standard operating procedure for Passive-Aggressive Bullies, who lack the confidence to stand up for themselves. They're afraid rejection and retaliation will result if they overtly disagree or directly address a conflict with another, even if that conflict is imagined, so they find sneaky, insidious, and corrosive ways of communicating their displeasure--a roundabout response that almost always involves doing something they know the person they are bullying won't like.

    Many Passive-Aggressive Bullies were raised by a Rage Bully, or an otherwise verbally or physically abusive parent and possibly raised by a resentful, rageful father.